Every day I have brand new thoughts about what I want to do with my life. I read something or see something that sparks my interest and all of a sudden I want to be an intern for a TV show, or I want to train for a marathon, or I want to create my own granola bar chain. I see what other people have and I want that for myself. I dream about what it would be like to have money, to have a job that I love and not just one that is easy to get. I think about how my life could be different than it is that day. Most of all, I think about how unhappy I am with who I am. There is always something that I want to change. I want to be taller, I want to be thinner. I want to be happier, have more friends, be a better friend. I want to be smarter, have more of an education. Why do I want these things? Is it because I really want them for myself or because I want to look good for everyone else who is looking. Do I really want those things? If I did, wouldn't I put an effort into making them a reality? Instead of trying, I just... don't... and for me that is easier because then I can't fail. I am afraid of change because I am afraid of failing. Why do I find myself saying "I'll have what you are having" ?? because I a terrified of stepping up and saying THIS is what I want; THIS is who I am. How can I "go confidently" in a new direction? How can I choose a path for ME, a path that doesn't leave me wondering,
"Why am I reaching for someone else's stars?"
